Teen years are usually a problematic time for teenagers as they transit into adulthood. Teenagers are confronted with confusing issues involving their sexuality, emotions and how to relate with parents and peers. Watching their family break up right before their eyes can add an extra toil on teenagers. It is thus important that parents make sure that they take extra care to help their teenagers and indeed all their children cope with this difficult time.
In America and many other...
more »Teen years are usually a problematic time for teenagers as they transit into adulthood. Teenagers are confronted with confusing issues involving their sexuality, emotions and how to relate with parents and peers. Watching their family break up right before their eyes can add an extra toil on teenagers. It is thus important that parents make sure that they take extra care to help their teenagers and indeed all their children cope with this difficult time.
In America and many other civilized western cites, about one in every three marriages will end up in divorce. Sometimes, couples are so engrossed in lashing out at each other, slandering each other and fighting over belongings and children custody in prolonged nasty legal battles without stopping to think of what their actions are doing to the children, especially the teenagers.
A number of youths get into trouble in school and home when their parents are going through a divorce. Many feel threatened by the unfamiliar new developments and turn to drugs, sex or alcohol for solace. Many teenagers have even gotten into trouble with the police when their parents decide to get divorced. How can parents help their teens to cope better with their breakup?
Sadly, when children are involved in a divorcing family, they end up feeling guilty about the split up. It is thus best that parents assure and reassure their teens and other children that they are not the cause of the split up. The children should also be assured that even if the parents could no longer work things out together; their love for their children is in no way threatened. Let the children and teenagers see and feel that their financial future is still assured. Do not lie to your teenagers as this would only make them lose trust for you. Teenagers are not as strong as adults, but they are reasonable and strong enough to be told the truth so that they know what to expect.
As each parent tries to sort through their own problems and emotions, they should find the time to talk to their teenagers and listen to them. Teenagers do not like being treated like children, so talking to them and giving them a chance to express themselves is very important. It is best if both parents can keep a united front before the children. Parents should talk bad about the other parent before the children or force them to take sides. The children still love both parents, even if both parents decide not to remain together. Issues such as child custody, visitation and other issues that would affect the teenager should be discussed with him or her before final decisions are made.
Keep an eye on your teenagers to notice mood changes and to be a source of solace to them. Use the opportunity to get closer to your teens and children, showing them how much you love them and trust them. Divorce is usually a sad experience for everyone involved, but insightful parents can help their teenagers cope through this time of despair.
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